INCESSANITY

2007-10-04T14:31:00.000+08:00

it's time to leave the past behind..
everything unpleasant that has happened..
it's time i move on to a new phase and get myself ready for what the universe has to offer..
i don't wanna do this alone..
walk with me..

2007-10-04T00:41:00.000+08:00

this is what i did during ICP lecture today.. ahahaha..

before.. my creation.. taken on 02/10/2007..

Mr Q studying.. pics taken at woodlands library..
our stuff..

studied there yesterday and today.. at least could get down to abit of serious stuff.. but so drained out already.. lol..

lazeee to type.. ciaoz..

2007-09-27T01:22:00.000+08:00

"You'll have good chances to make interesting friends or to live passionate amorous adventures. You're likely this time to meet with delays in your habitual money entries. Your will to succeed in your career will be very much favored; consolidate your achievements; don't commit yourself more than necessary, otherwise your daily life will no longer have anything pleasant. If you want to feel really in good shape, drive out of your mind all resentment, all idea of vengeance, all negative thought."

horoscope from facebook.. zhun until cannot zhun..

2007-09-22T16:25:00.000+08:00

谁还记得是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话是我们以后的伤口
过了太久没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手说要一起走到最后

我们都忘了这条路走了多久
心中是清楚的有一天有一天都会停的
让时间说真话虽然我也害怕
在天黑了以后我们都不知道会不会有以后

谁还记得是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话是我们以后的伤口
过了太久没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手说要一起走到最后

我们都累了却没办法往回走
两颗心都迷惑怎么说怎么说都没有救
亲爱的为什么也许你也不懂
两个相爱的人等对方先说找分开的理由

谁还记得爱情开始变化的时候
我和你的眼中看见了不同的天空
走的太远终于走到分岔路的路口
是不是你和我要有两个相反的梦

谁还记得是谁先说永远的爱我以前的一句话是我们以后的伤口
过了太久没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手说要一起走到最后
我和你手牵手说要一起走到最后

2007-09-20T22:00:00.000+08:00

i was here.. shopping with dear..

bought a necklace and a purple top from topshop.. & 2 watches..

after he left for his lessons.. i walked arnd more..

i had this for high tea.. with some macademia ice-blended coffee.. after taking multiple shots of the fountain..
(i stood under the scorching sun for the better angle.. ppl looked at me.. i felt like an idiot.. but also like a pro-photographer.. lol..)

and i thought to myself.. if he really left.. can i really stand on my own..?

2007-09-14T23:59:00.003+08:00

(great! now some ppl think that i am being arrogant. i dunno if i'm too sensitive but i'm quite sure that comment is made for me.)

既然你还是要坚持，我无话可说。别人可以最后一分钟说不能去，你呢？至少我能肯定的是-她有她自己的优先权。说我固执也好，野蛮也好，都是因为关心你。
你不领情，那就算了吧。

2007-09-14T00:32:00.000+08:00

although we meet up very often.. quality time spent between us might not be even once a week.. so why do u emphasise so much on meeting up with them? and on a saturday night.. just leave me alone..? why? just because i've got work.. it's my fault that i need to work the next day?

i dun feel safe to always let u go without me.. cos i know u cant hold your liquor.. u promise u wun drink.. but are u sure? can u resist the temptation? can u break free from peer pressure? i doubt so.. cos i know u always succumb to peer pressure..

wad if i say 'i feel uneasy'? u'll think that i'm using ur words to pick on u.. wad if i say 'if u treasure me more then dun go with them'? u'll still think i'm being difficult.. maybe i think too much.. i'm too protective of you.. but it all makes me think that my sacrifice in saving this r'ship is not worth it at all!

i struggled so much to give up a long-time friend.. and you? u dun care a shit abt making me worry.. u think i control u.. fine.. i'm a control freak.. i really feel helpless.. i dunno wad to do with u.. and i hope u're reading this..

i'm sorry for worrying abt u, sorry that i need to work the next day, sorry that i cant be there to make sure u're safe, sorry for making u think i'm controlling u, sorry for meeting a "lover", sorry that i have yet to find my own activities for sat night, sorry for feeling helpless, and sorry for being a control freak!

if u really want me to be the bad guy, then let wadever problems be my fault. if u really want to see me break down, then may all the misfortunes in the world befall on my heavy shoulders.

2007-09-07T00:15:00.000+08:00

it just gets worse as the days pass.. so tied up inside.. so many yearnings yet no reciprocation..

2007-09-05T23:29:00.000+08:00

i'm totally crushed now..
i cant eat nor slp..
my joints feel so weak..
every step i take i feel like i'm fainting..
cant seem to talk to anyone abt this..
so i'm here just finding things for my fingers to do..
and keep my mind occupied for a little moment..

2007-08-09T18:38:00.001+08:00

pls do not come into my life anymore.. i try to keep avoiding but deep inside it's all controversial.. so i hope u stay away while i try not to get near..

your appearance makes things chaotic.. pls leave..

i'm terrified..

2007-07-09T14:07:00.000+08:00

edna: my class was fun! lol. actually they just started an English class in that branch so i started with only 2 students. both girls from N(A) stream. BUT, they were very positive, kept asking how they could improve and they were eager to do in-class assignments and participate rather actively. it was fun, much much more fulfilling than private tuition as compared to my previous experiences. personally, i don't like tutoring privately cos u report to the parents. lol. some parents are just "wu hua ke shuo". pay wise, i get $24/hr for sec3 i dun really know what's the rate like for private. anyone knows? but yeah, the sense of achievement is definitely there. i wonder how long i will last though. lol.

just celebrated my 4th anniversary with pek-pek last sat (07/07/07). we went to sentosa but unfortunately missed the dolphin show; cos we were too late. nevertheless we went for the 4D movie thingy and the cinemagic or something like that. ahaha. bloody hell. $16 for one ticket leh! and the "show" was like 10 mins? but the 4D one was good! we watched the "pirates" show. entertaining indeed.

after that was dinner at giraffe with tiramisu for dessert. we went there on V day this yr and fell in love with its tiramisu. this time it wasn't as delicious. cos i think it wasn't fresh enough. maybe they kept it overnight so the sponge cake in btwn was kinda soggy. then again, thumbs up for their 'filleto' and 'salmone'! can't be eaten too often though, burns your pocket.

after dinner was a short walk at istana park and down to east coast park! we pitched a tent - somebody bought the tent and was like 'huh?'; ended up that i was the one who did the job, lol. we bought lotsa tidbits and 2 durians. ate 1 durian and threw the other away. hahaha. tidbits untouched. i thought we'd be like spending the night away talking and eating. instead, after eating the durian we felt a little sleepy. and as you know, the "da shao ye" felt rather uncomfortable; he couldn't slp. somewhere in the middle of the night when we were falling aslp we heard some sucking noise and an indian couple talking very loudly (our tent was beside a bench btw cos the place was filled with many other tents, we couldnt find a better spot). he was quite du lan cos the female was really talking super loudly like she was in her own bedroom lor. so he took a peek and ta-dah! the female was lifting her shirt up for the guy to suck her nips! omg lor! it's not as if the whole place was dark and quiet. at the bench that they were sitting, there were at least 20-30 tents within visible range. haha. only one word - SHAMELESS.

2007-07-01T09:41:00.000+08:00

alright! here i come! lol

i haven't been blogging i know. not because i am simply too busy, i juz didn't know what else to blog about other than work. my life's been revolving around that since exams ended.

i work practically 6 days a week; to top it all up, i accepted the offer of being a tuition teacher - not the private kind but the kind where u really have a CLASS going on. lol. i hope i can cope with that. first lesson will start on friday evening.

of all things to teach, i'll be teaching english. it's like my strongest subject when i was in secondary school. but comparing my standard now to ppl out there or around me, i'm just a piece of crap A.K.A. junk. hahahaha. i shall try this new job out and hopefully all goes well. if it does and IF the income does meet my minimum financial requirements i might just do a switch. who knows?

2007-04-27T12:13:00.000+08:00

steph has been busy with funeral preparations for my grandpa and running to and fro ttsh visiting my grandma who has been in coma for 2 weeks and counting..

no mood for work.. and studies.. but comforted by the family bonding and unity..

steph is considering not working on weekends when the holidays begin.. but it'll be hard to manage financially..

sigh.. super down period..

2007-04-06T09:32:00.000+08:00

haven't been blogging
haven't been doing anything much except working and trying to revise
i dunno wad i'm busy with
i'm just plain lazy

2007-03-23T13:13:00.000+08:00

grandpa is sick.. diagnosed with cancer.. and it doesn't look optimistic..

i guess KJ is right.. we should treasure every moment we have with the person we love.. sigh.. i hope for the best.. which i dunno what is..

but i see flashbacks.. every time.. almost every moment of the day..
without him.. my childhood would have never been complete..

2007-03-09T01:12:00.000+08:00

i guess i'm trying to take things easy now.. and trying to go with the flow of things.. although there are certain issues that some ppl think i shldnt be dealing with and juz let it go.. i've decided to try to improve it.. i hope i can do it.. maybe i'm being too arrogant.. but i think he cannot live without me.. or should i say.. he needs me.. maybe now's not the right time to do any drastic changes to his life.. and if i dun make any changes.. maybe we'll see the rainbow some day..

here are some pictures for u to laugh ur ass off! ladies.. it'll be good for u.. laughing ur ass off makes ur butt smaller.. tighter.. and more toned up.. for guys.. no asses keeps the ah guas away.. and yup.. my latest ambition is to be a hairstylist.. envision myself creating super cool hairstyles! and i apologise for my act cute & sadako-like pictures.. lol.. did those for entertainment.. feast ur eyes!!!

this is wad i call the ancient modern

onions anyone? LOL..

can consider being a photographer too.. look at how the background complement this hairstyle.. tsk tsk.. perfection in its name..

although it's act cute.. i think i look cute.. *beams*

nothing to blow.. so i blow my palm.. it's a BLOWJOB!

SADAKO!

The End.. Sorry if this is gonna cause nightmares.. the blogger is not responsible for any disturbances caused by reading this entry..

Signing off - the blogger - Steph

2007-03-05T15:19:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder..

what would it be like if i change my path now.. i will hope to assume that it will be smooth and bright.. but will it really be?
i will never know.. unless i take the step out..
but will i be able to handle the consequences.. will i be able to do it alone..? i seriously doubt so.. and i dun see anyone who can share this with me..
cos i dun wanna be weak in all of your eyes.. i wanna be the cheerful and bubbly girl whom everyone thinks i am.. i wanna be STRONG!
that's me..
maybe i shld juz let myself drown.. liqour.. sorrow.. fear.. anything.. juz let me drown in it..
it's not a melancholic thing.. it's just a relief.. i'm fine..

just trying to ramble and ramble and keep myself occupied.. since at this time there is no one on msn to chat with me.. and i'm not at work.. and i skipped CF mock.. and my fingers need to exercise.. and i'm trying to study..

i'm not lazy.. i didnt lose my enthusiasm.. i merely changed my priorities and goals.. even so, at this point in time.. i really can't study.. i'm not u.. i can't juz forget everything and concentrate on what i am supposed to.. cos i'm only a little girl.. call it crap if it may be..

i just need a reason to love you back..

2007-03-04T01:38:00.000+08:00

sometimes it's damn right to trust ur intuition.. if not when things come slapping on ur face.. u utterly regret the fact that u actually didnt trust urself.. or u were lazy to go ahead with what ur intuition told ya to do..
this happened to me.. i was told by ms. intuition to go buy 4D today.. and buy my dad's license plate number.. but ms. reality said.. where got always so heng one? i strike once before liao.. but ms. goh decided ms. intuition was right.. HOWEVER.. she was too lazy to walk to marina square to find a singapore pools outlet..
HAPPILY.. the number not only came out first prize.. it also came out as a consolation prize.. total loss of $2060.. *claps hands* and the very irritating fact that i was trying to plan for a holiday today with my tight budget.. and was imagining how nice it would be if i struck lottery and could go for a week of holiday w/o worrying for expenses..
well guys.. i suppose this is where laziness brings u to..

but whether i strike lottery or not.. LIM BEH IS GOING FOR A HOLIDAY.. i cannot tahan this kind of life anymore!!!

2007-02-18T11:35:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

bloody hell.. i'm at work.. lol..
wearing a new C-cup.. upgrade sia.. muahaha..
means i put on weight.. wtf..

2007-02-08T13:24:00.000+08:00

Your surface is bright and sparkly, but underneath there are some deep feelings at work. Hey, you can be both. Just remember to take plenty of time for yourself if you feel like your emotions need attention.

i cant help but believe in daily forecasts of my horoscope.. sometimes..

2007-02-07T22:20:00.000+08:00

steamboat yesterday @ tan quee lan street's whacky cheena steamboat.. (dunno wad name)

school today..
den chillin' @ coffee bean with caffeine..
den movie.. the babel..
den chillin' again @ my usual spot with apple soda and my loyal water bottle..
and i did not eat a single shite today.. 3 cheers to slimming.. muahaha..

thank u ppl for filling my 2 days with your happiness..

2007-02-06T16:12:00.000+08:00

i will try
to learn
to appreciate
the ppl arnd me
more..

if this is the kind of ending u want.. i hope u're happy.. cos i will be happy for u..

nothing in this world lasts forever
not even our love
if this is how u want it to end
i will grant u your wish

holding on
will not bring us happiness..

2007-02-05T23:49:00.000+08:00

if u're thinking that somebody's gotta make the first move..
darling.. i'm sorry to disappoint u..

it will not be me anymore..

2007-02-02T16:37:00.000+08:00

i saw a couple today on the bus.. they were having fun using super glue to stick a broken slipper back into place.. and i could tell they were very happy.. such simple pleasures in life can make one happy..

why am i expecting so much to be happy.. i'm only a simple person.. or am i not..?

maybe i'm too complex..

2007-01-21T09:34:00.000+08:00

i seriously think marina mandarin is very sweet.. few weeks back they had this wedding event by Her World and they made their washroom filled with roses.. towels and hand moisturisers.. and i was thinking "okay la.. got event ma.."
and now.. they're having an event for childcare centres.. guess wad.. no roses no towels.. but little stools on the floor below the wash basins.. for those little devils.. and now i think they're really damn professional.. i mean little acts like this make them very special.. i dunno abt the other hotels.. but i juz think that it is so thoughtful and so sweet of them.. when i walked into the washroom.. somehow.. i totally melted.. i felt like a child.. and i wanted to step on those little stools.. but i decided i shouldn't.. juz in case my weight splits the stool.. wahaha.. but really lor.. very sweet can.. i wan my daddy.. sob sobz..
and just in case u have been thinking why i haven't updated my nail designs in a while.. here are some answers..
1) i've been working more often lately.. practically any chance i can find.. to maximise my income for this month.. i hope to hit $1200..
2) assignments and tests have been coming like asteroids from space.. i'd better clear them before i start preparing for mocks and exams..
3) trying to prepare wad i can for my mocks..
4) catching lost slp is of priority now as well.. i can see lines forming below my eyes.. getting a little panicky over them..
5) i have an order for 2 sets of nails.. so.. before i come up with new designs i have to settle this first!

2007-01-14T02:34:00.000+08:00

my nail designs have been shifted to http://alcor-nailz.blogspot.com

please do support and keep track of the newest designs that i have.. and please please please intro my site to any of your friends who are interested in such stuff.. discounts will be given to friends that you recommend..

*the site is still under construction though.. so hope u guys stay patient till it is fully up and running..

2006-12-25T10:01:00.000+08:00

i am supposed to be blogging more now that i've got a laptop.. but i seem to be busy.. though i dunno what i'm busy with.. i see nothing coming out of my busi-ness.. this is a very sad case.. am i putting too much into the wrong stuff..? even i see nothing coming out of my school work..

like i told kj.. i feel i've missed out so much in life.. i'm only 21 and i feel left out in this world.. deep down inside i feel like i wanna indulge in sports/spa/ meditation.. but i cant find the time, the place and most importantly the MONEY..

sports: attire, equipment, rental, etc - MONEY
spa: needless to say - MORE MONEY
meditation: i can't find a place! unless i have a house of my own - MANY MANY MONEY

maybe i'm thinking the wrong way abt such activities.. but i cant help it.. why am i so deprived.. i see my lecture mate working & studying full time.. she doesn't seem deprived at all.. in fact she is enjoying herself more than any of my other school mates!

something is really really wrong with me..

2006-12-24T11:12:00.000+08:00

my x'mas wish is for us to be fine.. and for u to bother to plan something (a surprise?).. anything is fine.. as long as we can spend some quiet time together..

but i think my x'mas wish is gonna be half-fulfilled..

2006-11-30T01:06:00.000+08:00

sometimes i really dunno what the fuck u are thinking.. you already have the answer in your head.. why ask me for my opinion? if u wanna do it, go ahead and tell me u wanna do it..

just don't make me bear the consequences if things don't turn out the way u want them to be..

u're a free man now since ur exams have ended and i'm still stuck with having to do assignments and tests.. and hopefully more work comes along.. i know i cant accompany u to do the things u wanna do.. either because i've no mood for them (i feel guilty abt lying and going out to enjoy myself.. my mum makes me feel guilty for having fun..) or because ktv-ing, etc can go on till late in the night.. and i'm very sick of being tied down by my mum..

i'm sick of her.. sick of this family.. and sick of having to lie just to run away from liabilities at home.. it's not that i dun wanna help to do the housework.. but whenever i help all i get is criticisms and "what else did u not do yet?".. i feel tired from work and school sometimes that i dun even feel like helping out.. and i end up lying that i'm at work.. in fact.. i'm elsewhere.. anywhere but home.. i'm afraid of going home.. afraid to tell my mum that i'm very shagged out.. if i tell her that she'll make sure i know that she is more tired than me.. everyone is tired i guess.. BUT if i'm home the whole day doing assignment.. the first thing she asks when she comes back from work would be "have u swept the floor?" or "did u do the things i asked u to do?".. i'm even more afraid of picking up calls at home.. randomly in the middle of the day more calls made by her to "delegate" work to me.. and bottom line now is.. HELLO AUNTIE I'M 21! I CANT GO OUT WITH MY FRIENDS? I HAVE TO REACH HOME BY MIDNIGHT? AND EVERY OTHER DAY I HAVE TO COME HOME ONCE I FINISH SCHOOL OR WORK? DID YOU EVER REMEMBER THAT I'M 21 AND I'M A GEMINI?!

and to top it all up.. other than comforting me.. the next best thing you do is take the chance to criticise her.. (and till now.. i dunno if u really hate my sis.. i know she's irritating at times.. but dear.. she's only 5 years old.. and i dun need u to ask my frens to assure u/me that she is irritating.. she's only a child..)

did u ever wonder how i felt when u said fugly stuff abt my family? u disliked me to do that in the past.. i changed for u because i love u.. and now.. did u ever look at yourself in the mirror and reflect upon it..? sometimes when i cry it's not because she doesnt understand me.. it's because i dun want u to feel the same way abt her as i do..

2006-11-25T11:40:00.000+08:00

1st day at marina mandarin today.. heard from my colleagues there is nothing to do here.. and i totally experienced it.. there is really NOTHING to do here.. no customers.. no management.. and we'll be closing the counter at 2pm to go over to hotel asia for a HR meeting.. haha.. and today is a $12/hr day!

anyway, i tried to set up the wireless for my home yesterday and i realised that i dun have the LAN port on my desktop CPU.. how..? is there any way that i can make the gateway connected to my laptop and den get a wireless adaptor for my desktop? sighs..

I NEED HELP!

2006-11-23T00:58:00.000+08:00

denis hates me for having a new nokia 7390 and a new vaio.. heh heh.. u'd better watch out!

shall post pics up soon once i get pics transferred to my laptop.. it's one more reason to blog.. and one more reason to celebrate this festive occasion!

*beaming with excitement*

2006-11-21T02:21:00.000+08:00

i'm starting to think why do i even blog.. from the surface it seems not many ppl read my blog.. firstly because it aint that interesting.. it either has something to do with the standard of english i use or my life is juz plain.. like kosong prata.. u flip this way.. it's work.. flip the other way.. it's studies.. haha.. (see? i can imagine laughing to myself and myself only..)

well of course i do appreciate ppl who even bother to read.. but pieces here and there it's always almost the same things happening to me.. i feel bored..

and the good thing abt boredom is that they pay u 12 bucks on weekends juz to sit there like an empty vase.. hmm.. i wonder how long they'll remain stupid..

anyways.. i'm sorta glad that my life is boring.. i saw how vexed dear's sis was today.. kinda freaks me out.. makes me feel like not starting up a family in future and juz enjoying time.. juz the two of us.. sighs.. but i love babies too much to not get married.. shrugz.. time will tell.. hope my future will not be bleak with a UOL cert.. God pls do not make me regret my decisions.. *^_^*

2006-11-16T18:25:00.000+08:00

when i read others' blogs.. i feel i seem to have missed out alot in life.. be it fun or experience in life..

somehow i feel very lost.. i dunno if i will regret my decisions in future.. and at my age.. what am i doing? working hard to survive and pay for my school fees? i dun wanna regret my premature entry to the workforce.. neither do i wanna miss out having fun.. and at the same time i dun wanna neglect my family as well.. i feel very left out in the world.. i feel like i'm already 30 and in the rat race.. sighs..

and say shites to the increase in GST..

2006-11-11T15:34:00.000+08:00

a million congrats to kenny who got in to the top 24 of project superstar! hahaha.. went to support him last tues.. well.. we had fun.. but i did see ppl i did not want to see.. if u think it was u.. think again.. it isnt.. hehe.. quite glad to see ppl i havent seen in a long time..

sighs.. everytime i see tongyan i'm reminded of the past.. the gloomy days which i used to spend.. she hasn't done me any wrong though.. but it just starts to hurt whenever i see her.. i remember the agony, the misery, and their oblivion to my feelings at that point of time.. i could see the past coming back.. to mock at me for my stupidity.. but i couldnt help it but fall in love with that jerk..

2006-11-04T17:14:00.000+08:00

it's my 3rd day here.. 1st day no sales.. 2nd day no sales.. and till now.. no sales again! GREAT.. i dun believe i'm so damn "HENG" lor..

although this is good money.. i get to study here and play games.. but it's so intellectually demoralising.. can't wait to going to my own branch.. =(

2006-10-31T14:57:00.000+08:00

this is great! first day at work and there is no sales for our counter. so that brings me to slacking and blogging. how fun can it be. and i was just informed that i will be here - Hotel Asia - till 15th Nov at least 'cos the new place is not up yet. baaaaa. wadever. anyways, getting $8 an hour and not doing anything is in fact quite.. *ahem*.. SONG!!!

p/s: to those people whom i've said i'm going to work at mandarin.. clarifications.. it's MARINA mandarin.. which is at marina square.. anyone knows what bus i can take cos i dun wanna walk from city hall.. it's so far.. =(

2006-10-27T01:41:00.000+08:00

i looked at my blog and realised i havent been blogging for a month.. and it was only until zp reminded me abt it.. actually i've been lazy.. hehz

so here i am.. blogging to announce another new journey in my life.. well.. definitely not a change of school.. that brings me to a change in job.. hehz.. the new place pays well.. high class location.. but not sure if the job itself is high class.. hahahaha..

will end here.. shall update on my job when it starts.. taking a one week break.. hopefully will be able to upload my KL and Genting photos.. if laziness permits.. =)

2006-09-27T23:11:00.000+08:00

if only you could see what i'm doing for you...

just to make you happy...

2006-09-16T14:36:00.000+08:00

it's my first day at work ever since school started.. this place really makes me love my school more than i ever did.. the environment sucks.. the people are nice but they cant do much and they got their own backs to look out for.. people talk behind one another.. even i am guilty of that.. because some things we just cant take them lying down.. it's hard to explain how a small outlet can suck so much.. i suppose there is too little space yet so many ppl.. such that people step on each other every now and then..

well.. what more can i ask for from a company which can yet again tolerate my ever-changing schedules.. despite the fact that i become less committed.. the only thing i know is i wanna leave this place soon.. but some people are holding me back.. they don't want me to leave.. and i cant bear to leave them as well.. when our roads have to split.. they have to.. i just hope to keep these ties that have formed for the past few months.. i might leave without u guys.. but dun blame me..

2006-09-04T15:07:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST!!!

2006-09-04T15:05:00.000+08:00

woo hoo! all that backstabbing at work.. enjoy yourselves dude.. but leave me out.. i shall be content with a dull worklife.. and nasty customers..

2006-08-27T19:08:00.000+08:00

i had a great time last night.. *grinz*

2006-08-10T00:48:00.000+08:00

God is good.. or am i being repayed for my kindness? i wouldnt say i'm very charitable.. but well..
i donated $2 today to this volunteer which my colleague thought was cute.. hehz.. the consequence: when i went to buy some bread for breakfast tmr at carrefour i was charged one item less.. saved me $2.50.. hahaha..
after work i went for dinner with dear.. we ordered a cuppa "kopi" and fag.. somehow or rather there were some confusions and i ended up not paying for the latter.. then was approached by this old indian man who begged for some cash.. happily i gave him 5 bucks and i still saved $5..
this whole post sounds stupid.. but it just makes me feel that life can be good too.. makes me a bit more optimistic though.. hmm.. i can feel more good coming my way.. ever since my sixth sense tells me that i'm surrounded by a supernatural being.. good or bad i wont know.. i just hope that it's God or maybe an angel.. rather than those lonely souls out there who're let out this special lunar month..

GOD BLESS ME!

2006-08-09T19:19:00.000+08:00

well.. i suppose things are starting to get on fine between me and him.. i'm aware not many ppl read my blog now that i update very irregularly.. but i need to keep track of myself.. HAHAHAHA.. sometimes i forget what kinda hell i'm going thru.. phew.. hope things remain as they are..

2006-08-07T12:01:00.000+08:00

i miss everyone.. work's draining me out.. it's tough when u gotta handle & juggle so many things at the same time.. HIM, family, work, friends, etc.. kill me..

2006-08-05T19:42:00.000+08:00

why is it never enough.. what else do i have to do to make u understand what i am going through.. negligence is hell.. lack of communication is death..

2006-07-28T15:51:00.000+08:00

i know i havent been blogging.. well.. nothing's much going on in my life really.. nothing much that deserve to be blogged.. i'm working at samsung customer service centre at PS now.. so.. if anyone feels they need a mate for lunch/dinner.. feel free to drop by.. hehz.. coffee will do too.. =)

2006-06-23T11:08:00.000+08:00

woohoo!! i juz came back from a swim.. another fruitful day.. shall not become a couch potato..

2006-06-21T08:17:00.000+08:00

it's a good day today.. i woke up at 6am to jog.. not because i'm so damn ON but because my dogs kept barking.. i dunno what's wrong.. think they kept hearing noises outside.. well.. i suppose it's good lar.. cos it's been yrs since i last jogged.. i mean it.. ever since my accident.. which is 4 yrs ago.. how time flies..

and after a half an hour jog.. i'm back to sitting in front of the comp.. one hr and still counting.. ahahaha.. i hope everyday is almost if not more fruitful than today.. i wanna kick away my laziness and have a regular exercise schedule.. =)

*** i feel like going for a swim now..

2006-06-18T17:18:00.000+08:00

我不知道还能对你说什么。。。
你这样对我的方式让我感到很疲惫。。。

2006-06-16T12:05:00.000+08:00

if you are reading this..

u wouldn't understand even if i told u abt the things that are bothering me right now.. cos u probably would be thinking that i am the one who can't understand u.. which i do not think is the case.. i understand the things that u are going through.. but what i do not understand is why u choose to leave things at it is.. for the past few years u have been teaching me how to make things change and get things going.. but from my point of view i only see u going round in circles.. wandering in a bottomless pit.. many times i get upset is because i do not see things changing for the better.. maybe it is for u now.. i don't know..

see? there are so many things abt u which i don't know.. it's either u refuse to share.. or u think that some issues are just too trival to be mentioned.. well.. maybe u just wanna reduce friction.. but it will only cause more friction in the long run.. and i have to admit that there are many things that i'm thinking abt which u do not know of.. no particular example that i can think of actually.. as a gemini's thoughts come fast and remain vague in certain areas of ur subconscious mind..

seriously speaking i feel the closer we get.. the more distant we are.. i'm starting to lose the insecurity i once found in u.. i'm starting to think i don't know u anymore.. i'm starting to speculate if ur words are true.. i'm starting to think if we still love each other..

u might get angry at reading this.. i don't know.. but it's the only way to convey a msg to u.. without being interrupted by tears.. cos tears still flow but my fingers continue to talk..

2006-06-10T13:40:00.000+08:00

never look down on a country like Ecuador.. they are damn zai.. ahahaha.. 2 - 0 defeat to Poland.. swee la!

2006-06-08T13:18:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday To Me!

am i really happy i really do not know

but i don't wanna be 21

cos i don't wanna be old

firstly.. a big thank you to all those who attended my party last saturday.. i really appreciate it alot.. but there was still a bunch who didnt manage to make it.. kinda disappointed.. but nvm.. it's ok.. i know what i should do next.. since there are so many others who are by my side.. i should not cling on to the past anymore.. =)

p/s: sorry there were too many people at the party i couldn't split myself up.. even if i were to split into 2 it still wouldn't be enough.. hee.. so please forgive me if u think i neglected u whomever u are..

2006-05-24T02:35:00.000+08:00

my mind is struggling.. my heart is aching.. memories of the past float vaguely above my thoughts.. it was such a shame.. a regret of my life.. to lose this bunch of ppl.. i know we're not exactly their type.. cos of the things we do.. the things we love and the lifestyle we lead.. we're simply different.. but still.. i feel sad over the loss of bonds.. i'm angry at myself for letting things happen because of my immaturity, instability and incompetency.. what's past is past.. but deep down inside.. a longing is there.. though time spent with a new grp of ppl is simply fantastic.. a wound is not recovering..

i've decided to follow my heart.. there's no point struggling.. so what if i allow ppl into my life to hurt me.. so what if their presence is cold.. i truly and sincerely will appreciate seeing them again.. but i shall hide behind my shadow and not let them know that every action they take is a stab in my heart.. because i long for things to be like the past.. and i know.. it's not possible.. we've got to move on with our lives somehow..

2006-05-23T00:27:00.000+08:00

they're mine.. finally.. HAHAHAHA.. beware of dogs.. those who're coming to my place.. MUAHAHAHA..

2006-05-11T22:36:00.000+08:00

my pair of papillons (pronounced as pear-pee-ons) are coming over tmr.. oh my.. i'm just sooo excited.. hahahaha.. i know they'll be such sweet darlings.. and they'll be a comfort to my shittiness right now.. exams were like FUCK.. everything juz came out stunning us - the examined.. i shan't elaborate.. maths was rather OK.. looks like an 'A' for maths is not possible anymore.. sighs.. me and my super high expectations of myself..

anyways.. i've got lotsa photos to update.. interesting pics though.. the funny things i've come across these few weeks.. well interesting to me at least..

ECONS ON MONDAY! STATS ON TUESDAY! trust me, i'm DOOMED!
have lost all confidence in myself.. :(

2006-05-03T22:23:00.000+08:00

bumped into him 4 times yesterday.. why today nv see him.. ahahaha.. he's what motivates me to go to school.. lalalalala..

i still love my dear though.. hehe.. he just came back from KL.. thank God that he's safe and sound..

2006-04-17T03:22:00.000+08:00

i'm suffering from insomnia! hahaha.. irritating.. i tink it's time to get down to work.. got a kickstart today by completing the whole section A of my maths mock paper.. although it's only section A but i completed every single question.. which is quite an accomplishment already cos i didnt know how to do those questions on the actual day.. hiak hiak hiak

well well.. i suppose i'm juz typing to pass time.. my study room is dim.. but my eyes are like an owl's.. why why why.. why can't i slp.. *ramble ramble ramble*

I'D RATHER NOT SLP THAN TO EAT SOMETHING TO GO TO SLP.. ahahaha.. i tink it's time to swim soon.. the rain kept me from swimming on saturday.. maybe i've got lotsa energy to spare.. that's why i'm sufferring from insomnia..

I
Need
Sex
Oh
Man!!!
Need
It
Agonisingly!!!
= INSOMNIA (ahahahahahaha!!!)

*i'm mad

2006-04-12T14:04:00.000+08:00

had a short session of drinks and ktv with Jesi yesterday at NYP Halo Bar.. she was having some problems with her guy.. and it pointed out to me how fortunate i am to be who i'm with for the mere fact that i'm really doted on.. pampered maybe.. well not really..

listening to her and comforting her at the same time brought me to some thoughts.. naturally.. i thought abt the past.. people who have walked in and out of my life.. and someone whom i wish to kick out eternally.. which.. is difficult.. there are no lingering feelings for anyone anymore.. but just lingering moments.. memories.. i'm grateful to God.. for his arrangements.. maybe i'm just luckier than some people are.. that i have met him and that our friendship has blossomed into something more than friends.. i am amazed by our love for each other.. how 2 people can gain strength from love.. the things we've gone through together.. and the way we plan for our future together..

seriously i think our relationship is very much that of Karl Marx's dialectical theory of conflict (as in sociology).. many times we have a contradiction of interests.. and we struggle very much (especially for me) to dominate our ideas.. it leads to conflicts.. we go into fights, quarrels, etc.. haha.. and then it generates change for us.. very obviously the change has to be good.. like wad i told Jesi.. a relationship can progress only if the 2 parties involved can progress together.. there is no point in leaving anyone behind.. neither will there be improvements if either one party chooses to remain in square one..

sounds like i'm bragging to be some expert in relationships.. but NO.. i'm still learning.. learning to be a friend, companion, business partner and hopefully a good wife whom he is proud of.. =)

2006-04-09T14:52:00.000+08:00

2006-04-09T14:43:00.000+08:00

i'm still busy.. busy with exams.. busy with trying to setup new biz.. busy with him.. busy with family.. busy with work (maybe not).. and busy with keeping myself fit..

therefore.. no updates.. ahaha.. juz know that i'm still alive..

2006-04-01T15:38:00.000+08:00

things have been going on well.. more plans made.. more brainstorming.. recipes improving..

2006-03-30T01:13:00.000+08:00

introduced to some new schoolmates today.. by dearest edna.. ahaha.. i'm juz blogging to keep their names here so i can refer back to my post if i need hlp with identifying them.. hehe..

Alex (edna's fruitplus guy and mr bubble-causer..)
Kai Yan (pronounced this way.. not sure if it's written this way.. haha.. looks like a car mechanic cos of the red polo tee he wore today.. and a angmoh ah beng.. *shrugs*)
Jing Tao (he looks "china" and he's from china. period.)

2006-03-27T13:16:00.000+08:00

a sudden idea from our usual brainstorming session has been keeping me and dear busy for the past few days.. searching for info and doing relevant research.. nevertheless i nv forgot my studies.. ahaha.. i'm born to multi-task.. i cannot lead the rest of my life not multi-tasking.. but it also leaves me with the disadvantage of not being able to put in 100% in everything i do.. and it doesn't mean that i dun put in my best.. ahaha.. according to thomas.. "IF YOU THINK YOU CAN, YOU CAN".. maybe it's some army jargon.. but who cares.. it makes sense to dear and makes cents to me.. many cents make up dollars and dollars make up millions of dollars.. wahaha.. i'm not trying to be lame.. it doesnt make a lot of sense to me.. but if it makes cents den it makes sense.. =D

juz met up with thye heng and leonard in the morning before leonard flies off early morning tmr.. and had a short discussion.. it's short.. but i tink it's quality time.. thanks HARRY (i still remb ur name) for ur ideas.. shall go try it out and let you know the outcome.. if it turns out well den it's gonna be PATENTED.. wahahaha.. and leo.. take care.. although our sessions are always relatively short and occasional.. it really does make a difference to my life.. cos you are one great dude.. and sometimes really positively one of a kind..

hmms.. shall do more sourcing now..

2006-03-23T14:44:00.000+08:00

i must say the past few days were really very peaceful.. ahaha.. why? cos dear didn't have to run around doing errands for his dad! yea! so sometimes i really love it when his dad goes to KL.. *beams* he'll be back tonight though.. hehe..

anyways.. today is the day when qf will book out for the first time! hahaha.. waiting to see how tan he is, how skinny/muscular he has become.. and how much "JIAO WEI"(hokkien) he wants to say.. sure got alot of stories to listen tonight.. cos he'll add in his own salt and vinegar.. wahaha.. but i suppose dear won't be there tonight.. or he'll join us later.. =( cos he gotta pick his dad up from JB.. haiz.. hope he goes in early and comes out early.. but the thing is he'll never know the time he has to leave until the last minute.. sounds like he's on a standby for a mission.. haharrss..

2006-03-19T00:39:00.000+08:00

had helluva great time today with sg, thomas, shuhui and dear.. hee.. had dinner at bukit timah then to science centre.. played with those funny funny science thingy at the playground.. and this stupid fireball which kept turning and turning.. made me giddy till i felt nauseous.. it lasted for quite awhile until i took a nap in the car.. phew.. no more of such rides.. knn..

this is a big chessboard from science centre.. with really big chess pieces..

yep.. and the day before.. went to siong's bday celebration at pasir ris coasta sands.. didnt stay long and didnt take many pics.. shall grab some from bry and glo soon.. after we started getting bored from the chalet.. i drove them to changi airport and taaa-daaa.. this is drinking water..

Mr. Ng Chong Ming posing for the shot.. he looks like he's licking his.. erm.. nvm..

the following shots are requested by my darling sis to put her beautiful photos on my blog.. so here they are.. enjoy..

undeniably cute

eating her walnut brownie

look at those crumbs near her mouth.. sighs..

and now you see the crumbs more clearly than i did!

i guess that's all folks.. juz recovered from my nausea.. (is it right?).. whatever.. i feel weak.. everywhere..

2006-03-16T03:31:00.000+08:00

now now.. i'm suffering from insomnia and that guy is happily dozing off in my room.. (think he's suffering from lack of slp).. but hey! we slpt the same amount of time last night.. ahaha.. which is considered little.. from 7+ in the morning till 12+ in the afternoon.. and headed on to work..

had dinner at chomp chomp in the evening with my whole family.. heez.. so sweet of daddy to come pick us up.. well.. his office is near mine anyway.. keke.. i suppose he wouldn't have come if i was working at tuas.. shldn't be too cynical of the beauties of life eh.. kk.. wadever.. i'll still love him anyway..

seriously, i'm wondering when is the elections.. till now the govt has still not confirmed the date for it.. i'm like half-excited-half-sianz abt it.. cos it'll be my first time voting.. i suppose my area would have some oppositions.. but sometimes i feel.. wad's there to vote.. like.. except for PP.. the other estates are like in a "sure-win" position.. not that i tink the presence of opposition parties are redundant.. to me as a citizen i shld know what's best for myself.. ahaha.. if an opposition party rules your estate.. i dun tink that there will be as much power and financial assistance for the well-being of your estate.. i dunno wat goes on inside the world of politics but i suppose the more talented ppl would be tempted to join the ruling government party cos of the prospects of it.. if i were a scholar.. why would i wanna sacrifice my future to oppose the government.. out of the pool of talents.. dat leaves abt a minority who are willing to join the opposition who believe they can fight for a better Singapore.. i once lived in a opposition-ruled estate.. for 5 yrs.. and i can tell u.. things are not the same.. hahaha.. some people may say this is how the PAP wins votes.. this and that.. but life's like that.. i feel it's just a strategy.. not a threaten.. given the chance for oppositions to go to certain measures to win votes.. if they got the capital and capability.. wad makes u tink they won't give incentives to win votes..? but the point lies in whether they got the ability to campaign as strongly as PAP.. i sound so pro-government.. ahahaha

juz a passing thought..

2006-03-13T14:29:00.000+08:00

08 MArch 2006 (Wednesday)

this guy is gone.. locked up in Tekong.. till 23rd March..

erm.. nothing to do..

Meat Ballz I

Meatballz II

Haven't taken a photo together for a very long time..

Qf's last dinner at Chong Qing Steamboat along Beach Road.. nice..

do you see a future auntie in me? i'm driving the Fer-lori.. ahahaha

After dinner we went to meet up with sg for some coffee near his place.. sighs.. when will we see qf again.. ahahaha.. i wanna drive his Fer-lori.. =)

doensn't he look oh so cute?

decided to take another pic of him and i think he looks like Ninja Turtle!

10 March 2006 (Friday)

thomas is back.. (the pictures can't be processed.. i dunno why..) i dun wanna grab all the attention you know!! (*nods nods*).. so fake.. wahaha..

err.. nothing to do again? the feel just came lar! wanted to take pics of myself..

11 March 2006 (Saturday)

woke up as early as 8.30am to pick up his dad's "accountant" from the airport.. yea.. but didn't take pics of her cos she isn't as photogenic.. wahaha..

yes.. the disease struck again.. now with my MacCartney shades..

our day ended early very miraculously.. so dear wanted to spend the time to build a cage for my lil' piggies.. hee.. spend about 50 bucks on the materials.. but he worked till 5.30am in the morning.. poor dear.. but thanks for everything! *muackz*

tentatively.. this is how the cage looks like..

2006-03-08T15:42:00.000+08:00

i'm rather amazed by the fact that he is still sleeping.. ahaha.. look at the time now.. it's almost 4pm.. and he slpt at 2.30am last night.. wahaha.. to me.. slping is just a waste of time and waste of my youth.. i'd rather spend the time being awake doing nothing than slping.. so this explains why i'm blogging.. cos i'm bored.. and i seriously dun feel like studying anymore.. i tink i started too early my enthusiasm has run out.. argh..

anyways.. tmr is stats paper.. i'm contemplating if i should go cos i didnt go for today's mock.. ahaha.. actually i woke up lar.. but juz didnt wanna spend time travelling there to sit in the hall and try to squeeze out 5 pgs of stuff.. and i'm supposed to study my stats cos gonna go out later to eat steamboat with qf.. he's enlisting tmr.. and poor qf that jiahui can't make it to his "gathering".. ahahaha.. the clique has 6 of us if i were to be included.. but only 3 will appear tonight.. thomas is coming back on the 10th which means he won't get to see qf.. sg dunno wad happen to his upper limbs.. after his operation his arms became weak.. weile.. dunno wad the fuck he is doing.. apparently he is angry with us for making fun of him online.. and that is like something so super super tremendously trival.. RIGHT OR NOT SG? i've got to emphasise on this.. it's really something very small.. anyway.. i dunno wad's wrong.. let him be then.. sg operation he also didn't visit him cos he thought it was a small operation and didn't wanna go.. we wanted to fetch him lor and bloody hell he was at home.. now qf enlisting he come up with this kind of funny stunts.. i really feel like saying to you "FUCK YOU MAN".. but for the rest of the peeps i shld juz keep my mouth shut.. anyway i'm the last to join u guys.. wahaha..

but i juz think he do things not very nice lor.. and it's not the first time..

2006-03-08T04:43:00.000+08:00

according to glory i'm vandalising my blog.. i don't deny it.. but heck.. can't stand my blog looking so un-glam.. or rather.. un-bling.. i love bling bling.. i wanna be a bling bling girl.. but i can't.. i dunno why.. maybe it's my size.. wahahaha..

2006-03-08T02:15:00.000+08:00

juz back from prata cafe again.. ahaha.. but didnt manage to take enough pictures today cuz we devoured our food the moment it came.. and i was lazy.. perhaps too bothered by econs mock tmr.. anyways.. juz for fun..

from the left.. longan spin, milo spin and lychee spin.. sweeeeet nothings..
this is a label on every table.. ahaha.. cheers to healthy living.. (by eating prata?)

2006-03-07T17:15:00.000+08:00

woo hoo i'm back.. today was maths paper.. tough eh.. i suppose i didnt do very well.. sighs.. it's definitely cos i didn't study hard enough.. at the rate i'm going.. i can dream on if i wan my first class honours.. hahaha.. anyway.. all's not gone yet.. i still have time to make up for my laziness..

and i seriously wanted to recommend this prata cafe to u guys.. it's a nice place.. i like the ambience.. not the kind of high class prata cafe.. but yea.. good for gatherings.. ahaha.. it's along Evan's Road.. next to Evan's Lodge.. near to Botanical Gardens.. the prata there i would say is superb.. and the variety will take u some time if you want to try everything.. ahahaha..

this is how it looks like.. but there are open air seats on the right side.. was too dark to get a pic of it.. the plants are decorated with lightings.. cool..
the stuff we ordered.. from the top left hand corner in clockwise direction.. honey prata, chip chop prata, maggie soup, mushroom & cheese prata and mayo prata.. 3 of us.. no big deal at all.. and as usual it's me, dear and qf..
ahaha.. did a facial for him.. waddaya think of it?
bryan brought me and glo to this cafe in some part of hillview.. it's called 'Gone Fishing'.. nice place.. frenly ppl.. and they've got this roast chicken with rice.. which is like "OH MY GOD!".. cos i really love the sambal that goes with it..yep.. this is it..

2006-03-02T14:44:00.000+08:00

haven't really had time to blog cos of my sardine-packed schedule.. hahahaha.. as if i earn one million a month.. anyways.. here are some snapshots of the past week or so.. apologies to ppl who are too used to being "photoshop-ed" and can't take the reality of my pictures.. muahahaha.. (pics arre not in chronological order)

QF's new fer-lori.. ahaha..

this is where i am usually at in the day till the place closes - west mall coffee bean!!!
uh huh.. done by glory during our "REST" time..
my econs notes..
i'm a coffee bean fan.. this is BUGIS coffee bean..
QF!! wearing my earring.. darn unhygienic.. but who cares..
glo.. if i remb correctly she is sms-ing not studying.. haharrs..

studied ONCE with edna.. she can't concentrate.. so i suppose no more 2nd time?

2006-02-22T23:54:00.000+08:00

been feeling rather out of sorts lately.. been the least tolerant of his actions.. whether it did or did not annoy me.. well.. i guess i realised we're not meant to walk the aisle together.. not that we don't want to.. in fact both of us are looking forward to that day.. but i suppose it's the parents part that both parties can't compromise.. i shldn't badmouth anyone.. but yea.. i feel quite indifferent that he's not arnd.. or rather i dun feel anything.. ahaha.. i'm enjoying time by myself.. and did a 'lil bit of revision today with dear glo and edna.. who can't stop talking to each other.. i suppose they are amused.. by each other of course.. ahahaha

yep yeps.. he's away in changi.. having his annual platoon chalet.. how lame can they get.. well.. i hope he wins in mahjong.. which is wad he is doing now.. mahjong above all.. that's his all-time logo.. even above me.. well.. i'm not his no.1.. i know it all the while.. not wishing to climb up the ladder though.. filal son is wad he is.. mummy's boy.. and sympathetic to ACTS by SOME PEOPLE..

the previous sentence is making me want to just smash up everything in my house.. so i shall just stop here for today..
if u know u'll be the evil daughter-in-law.. why are u still walking down the road with the angelic son of the century? *points a gun at my forehead*

2006-02-19T15:10:00.000+08:00

hmms.. revision schedule has slowed down quite abit.. i dunno why.. been feeling tired these few days.. but i try to push myself to work harder.. everyday is abit of a torture..

sometimes i cannot help but think that he is an obstacle to my studies.. not that he is not understanding enough but i put him in front of anything.. on his part he doesn't push/remind me to study too much.. cos he knows i hate ppl who nag at me.. ahahaha.. so sometimes it's like rather contradicting.. sighs.. and i can feel tension in our relationship again.. something like.. "oh i shouldn't say this lest he gets angry at me" kinda thing.. there seems to be too many restrictions in case we "accidentally" annoy the other party.. i dunno if it's good or bad.. on one hand it seems like ok-we-are-trying-to-perfect-this-relationship.. but on the other i feel very suffocated.. well anyway.. i shall concentrate on my studies before anything else.. if we're not meant to be.. then nothing we do will keep us together.. been avoiding too much contact with his family too.. 80% of the time i'm suffocated by them.. yet i cannot say much abt it to him.. see? that's wad i mean.. so i guess all i can do is avoid too much of contact (so that i will have nothing to want to say).. and just move on with my life.. i've learnt: not to take things to heart so much, if it bothers u then just don't do it at all..

2006-02-18T14:39:00.000+08:00

hey guys! do a simple test for me.. hehz..

2006-02-14T20:04:00.000+08:00

yea.. it's time to blog on a valentine's evening.. ahahaha..

Saturday
spent the night celebrating bryan's bday.. wj, cm, glo, ms and i shared a lee hwa bracelet.. looks kinda nice on him.. hope he likes it.. was quite fun in liquid room although the space was limited and some unpleasant things happened.. hehz.. and it was healthy clubbing with them.. we had lotsa fun..gossipping abt others.. and of course.. swaying away.. nv clubbed with my sec2 classmates before.. it was the first and shall not be the last.. keke..

Sunday
pei-ed him to make his specs.. hahaha.. he's mad.. spending $600 on a pair of oakley with transition lenses.. but since he's quite ok with taking care of his things i would think it's not really a waste of money.. though it's rather hefty.. can tell he really likes it.. and at least he chose the colour that i liked.. hehe..

Monday
we went out for dinner with sg and qf.. and dear surprised me with a stalk of red rose.. though we didnt really wanna celebrate v day.. hahaha.. cos it's kinda boring.. anyway.. sg saw it too.. and went to get one for his minmin.. hahahaha.. all the way from JB petrol kiosk.. not johor bahru.. but somewhere in singapore.. juz in case minmin reads this and knows where her flowers came from.. hahaha.. but we got a share in helping him.. so shld thank us too okay? keke..
after that went to jurong hill.. ooo.. the view is superb.. though the breeze is kinda sticky.. hahaha.. and dear pee-ed on the tower! damn disgusting lar.. i dunno why the hell he is like dat.. and his pee juz flowed down the tower.. we were like "OH GOSH!" ahahaha.. had helluva great time singing on the hill top and talking nonsense.. really had fun.. but i tink i played too much the weekend.. it's time to get down to studying again.. hahaha..

waiting for sg to wake up soon so we can meet up with ur minmin for our VDAY DINNER.. and bloody hell u still in dreamland!!! see.. so bored that i have to blog.. WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

2006-02-11T16:46:00.000+08:00

yk's sis has finally given birth to a baby boy.. on today 11th feb 2006.. well i havent visited her cos i decided to stay at home today.. will be going out later.. so i gotta be a good girl now.. hee.. shall visit her tmr on the way to stamford house when yk goes to purchase his new glasses..

i wonder if bryan is going to like his birthday present.. hehe.. it's not something which will make him jump up and scream in joy..but i seriously hope he likes it.. 21st birthday.. and a guy.. SO HARD TO BUY PRESENT LOR!!! hahaha.. anyway.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAO YEO!!! shall give u a great great hug tonite!!! *muacks*

2006-02-09T14:47:00.000+08:00

yea! gonna finish studying my maths soon! but that's only like 0.5 outta 4.0 units.. hahaha.. anyway.. i didnt wanna blog today actually.. cos i wanna spend my time studying.. but juz got something to clarify to rg.. dunno why u say i dua u lor.. this is how things went..

yk called up and msged u guys to invite u all over to my place on the 3rd day of cny
jx say he going campmate's house so ask us to arrange another day
we ask him to contact u all to come to a consensus
then he ask if sat i can, i say i cannot, then asked u all to come on sunday, he say ok
finally, after i bought the drinks for u all le den i receive a msg say u all not coming cos alot of you cannot make it

SO WHO DUA WHO?! HAHAHA.. anyway if u all wanna come anytime i welcome u all one lor.. but sometimes i really feel i have to beg just to see u all..

2006-02-01T16:12:00.000+08:00

hmm.. i would say there was nothing special abt the new yr.. always the usual stuff.. no 4D or Toto for me.. except the crazy zp.. haha.. didnt manage to have time to study either.. cos since the reunion dinner night.. i have been slping not earlier than 5am.. well.. if u might guess.. it's 4.20pm now.. and i juz woke up to eat my lunch.. so i wonder what time dinner will be.. but it's nice when once in a while my mum doesnt scream at me to wake me up.. haha..

school starts tomorrow.. argh.. wonder if i'll be able to wake up.. cos i'm going over to my aunt's place for mahjong..

2006-01-28T16:59:00.000+08:00

phew.. new yr's here finally.. been preparing for this day for so long.. i dunno why i'm quite "equipped" for this new yr.. as compared to the past.. been getting shoes, clothes, undergarments, bags and what-nots for this occasion.. well.. maybe it could be due to celebrating new yr for the first time in this house.. or could be i'm just greedy lor.. hahaha

was out shopping at orchard again yesterday.. i was alone.. went after work.. wanted to buy lingerie.. ahaha.. and it felt kinda weird to walk alone into marks and spencer to try bras.. i mean.. it's the first time i'm doing such things alone.. the last time i bought bras was with edna.. keke.. yea.. and i got some really great buys from robinsons.. i got this sally hansen hand cream (2 for $12) and l'oreal makeup remover (2 for $16.90).. felt like an auntie larrr.. when i crossed over to john little.. the cream was selling for $15.10 each and the remover was $12.90 each.. now i finally understand the sense of accomplishment of getting something somewhere at a lower price.. ahahaha.. and i'm starting to tink i dunno wad i'm talking abt.. anyway.. i got another 2 ear holes pierced last night while waiting for mr qf and mr pekz to meet me for coffee at rocky master.. hehe.. i was bored.. and i studied some maths while i was at rocky master too.. keke.. luckily no one looked at me like i was some kinda freak.. =P oo.. and i bumped into david and mingyang at the cineplex.. felt kinda weird actually.. hee.. especially after the "many conspiracies" incident.. sighs..

well.. juz finished preparing the food for steamboat later.. and my stomach is growling already.. hahaha.. had my guinea pig babies bathed.. and perfumed.. thanks to my mum.. she actually got a bottle of perfume for them.. and it smells like men's cologne.. keke.. makes me horny.. (YEA RIGHT..) gonna go grab some food now!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU GUYS.. i hope the festive season can brighten up your days for a moment.. =)

2006-01-27T02:10:00.000+08:00

juz did some random blog surfing.. looking at how my frens have changed.. and how they are carrying on in life.. well.. it's a pity that some buddies are experiencing r'ship problems.. but i know they'll pull through.. cos they are strong girls.. we CAN live without guys.. i'm sure.. and.. another point to note.. i seriously think sex makes a woman more feminine and appealing.. more sexy even.. haharrs.. *pats my chest with the side of my fist*.. i swear.. from the bottom of my heart.. it really does..

2006-01-27T01:54:00.000+08:00

finally got my ring.. supposed to be an x'mas present but was late for a month..
8K called me today.. damn stunned.. but i gave him the cold shoulder cos i was busy.. he juz wanted to find out how i was doing..
went for facial today.. skin's improving.. hope the redness goes down by new yr..
got my contact lenses too.. all 9 colours of freshkon.. gonna wear aqua blue after a series of drawing lots.. cos i can't decide which to wear..
my house's decorated..
DIY-ed my toe nails.. cos i tink nail services in singapore is damn ex.. compared to truly asia
gonna file my nails tmr.. the fake ones i mean.. too costly to do an acrylic nail extension..
studied maths (chapter 2)
work tmr.. last day.. before the office closes for new yr..
might get a set of new lingerie for new yr.. still considering..

2006-01-22T22:56:00.000+08:00

hmms.. i tink we're spending too much.. since last friday.. we had been without the car.. so.. without the car means we can stay in an area for quite a while and not worry about the parking charges! and this is no no no good..

last sat.. went orchard.. didnt really felt like shopping.. end up went heeren to LOOK AROUND.. he went in to jean perrie and bought a jacket.. though we both liked it alot.. it's $150 (okay.. it's fine to splurge once in a while right?) den it's my turn.. walked arnd this ed hardy boutique and spotted this nice army slacks.. den i was thinking and thinking if i really liked it.. if i did.. i would buy it for myself.. and yes.. i decided so.. went in.. tried it (juz hoping it wouldn't fit onto my waist.. haha).. and there goes another $160! (it was a present from him.. but it didn't really matter who paid lar.. thx anyway) and i thought it wouldnt be rite to wear the slacks without the hip hop chain thingy.. went to buy one.. he bought one too.. and some earrings.. another 50 bucks gone (present from him again).. in less than an hr's time.. i tink we thought we were in malaysia or something.. cos we got this bad habit acquired there..

and yesterday.. went to lee hwa to change my ring.. an x'mas present from him.. it was defective.. went back once to change it.. then the new piece had to alter.. so sent for alteration.. den during the process.. the stone cracked.. so i decided the ring wasn't meant for me.. so switched from a smoky quartz ring that cost 300 to a pearl ring dat cost 700+.. after discount i tink $504.. happily lor.. gotta pay the difference.. but i quite like the ring as well.. another 200 bucks gone.. and after everything was settled.. went past this shop that was selling freshkon coloured contacts at $18.. stepped in.. wanted to buy a pair.. mischievious me thought "it's so hard to choose a colour from the 9 colours available.. and since it's on discount.. why not we..?" and this "uncle" beside me.. looked at me and.. "OK LOR!" yay.. $162 each..

i tink it'll stop.. from today onwards.. =P

2006-01-18T18:53:00.000+08:00

I AM HAPPY

the reasons i'm happy:

i can come to work 2-3 days a week without getting a pay cut
peaceful it is, not having to see his parents every day
spending more time with my family
doing my part in handling household chores (no maid for the week)
i can claim my taxi fare for tonight when knock off! yay!!
have more time to spend chilling out on my own at coffee bean
more time for revision
not been missing school a lot
dear got me a pair of ED HARDY embroidered army slacks (simply a beauty to the eyes)
being able to discuss issues with dear and not quarrelling like in the past

and of course.. meeting up with edna and jiaz last night juz completed my happiness perfectly.. ahaha.. juz too bad that wenz and yaoz couldn't make it.. we had lotsa fun making fun of jiaz.. ahahaha.. new words added to jia's dictionary of stupidity.. keke..

2006-01-06T01:25:00.000+08:00

hmm.. i'm so bored now.. thinking abt school and work.. as usual.. and.. exams are juz around the corner.. yep.. juz after u see the mama shop.. wahahaha.. and i'm freezing in this weather.. i can't stand the cold.. hmmph..

well.. as usual there's not much to update..

i guess i've changed.. in a way.. i've been giving in alot to him.. been saying sorry for things i know i've done wrong.. and he's been sometimes taking it for granted but sometimes also being sweet by giving in.. after all the storms we've weathered.. i suppose we're finally stepping on a giant stone.. not moving arnd too much.. and balancing well..but is this good or bad? i suppose it shouldn't continue this way for too long.. i mean.. yea.. we should be stable.. but we shld progress together as well.. haven't been reaching the standards i want for more intellectual communication though.. is it something wrong with me? or with my partner? i'm quite happy with being attached now other than that.. for the fact that we are starting to understand each other more (finally!) after 30 long months.. it's not easy for us.. and i believe it's not easy for other couples out there too who are still struggling.. to those people.. 加油哦！

在这寒冷的天气

每一滴落下的雨水

都让我想起你给我的温暖

在你胸怀取暖的我

其实想永远都让你替我保暖

有你在我身边，我什么都。。。

不怕不怕啦！！！

anti-climax rite.. wahaha..

2005-12-31T00:33:00.000+08:00

Stephanie, your true color is Red!

Your color is red, the color of racy sportscars, blushing cheeks, and luscious roses. Red symbolizes passion, romance, and love. So, since you're ruled by red, you probably trust your feelings more than your brain and tend to act spontaneously. If you see something you want, you go for it without thinking twice — impulsive is your middle name. You don't wait around for people to make decisions, either; you dive right in. Quite the romantic, you pay close attention to your emotions. In fact, if your heart isn't in what you're doing, you won't be satisfied. Of course, even when you do pour all your energy into the projects you tackle, your impetuous nature means your passions can shift as frequently as the wind. That's why some reds have trouble with commitment. Our advice? Next time you're feeling fickle, think before you act, if possible. You might be surprised at the results. Overall, though, it's great to be red. No one lives life more completely than you do.

i dun suppose i have to tolerate any kind of nonsense from anyone cos i go into things with my feelings. yea? i can't please everyone i suppose. too bad if u've misunderstood me. i've no ill intentions whatsoever. well, friends dun bitch around. and i won't.

life has been rather hectic at work though i'm on one week holz. yea. the year is coming to an end and apparently my company hasn't hired any accts staff yet! so i'm like stuck with all the accting work? and that sucks! so many expenses to be accounted for, leave reports, annual reports, and need to do up new sales presentation formats for the new yr. anyone can help me? wahahaha.. i'm going mad..

and i suppose my life has been too mundane to be blogged.. too steady to be told.. baaaa

2005-12-16T15:22:00.000+08:00

hmm.. juz got back from impressario auditions.. i tink it's a more or less gone case lar.. haha.. i did ok.. but i wasn't good enough i suppose.. well.. bottom line is.. i tink it's abit f*-ed up at the place.. cos i sang.. with 2 voices in my head.. one was the singer's and the other was my voice.. so confusing.. and i didnt know which was my voice.. hahaha.. ok.. i'm dumb.. but yea.. thanks nana for trying to calm me down and pei-ing me there today.. hot weather.. and we walked long distances.. hahaha.. *muakz*

yep yep.. and gotta know some really disappointing things that is happening out there from one of my closer frenz.. sighs.. why.. why are ppl like dat.. or why am i not like them? at least it makes me easier to accept the events.. or at least i dun feel so alienated from wad's happening.. hahaha.. but yea.. i'm glad.. dat i'm still conservative in a way.. at least i get protected from what many are exposed to.. =) sometimes it's better that we know where things shld stop rite.. hmms.. but seriously.. i noe i'm missing out on all the fun and action and ExPeRiEnCe.. but well.. far away from the bacteria and diseases.. wahahaha.. juz trying to be evil.. yea.. but.. think before u act.. think of the consequences.. that's what i tink is more impt..

2005-12-08T16:28:00.000+08:00

i permed my hair. period. i dunno wad the hell got into me lar. juz gave in to the stupid hairstylist who managed to psycho me to perm. god dammit! where the hell is my ah ben hairstylist lor. cut hair so nice, for wad go teaching academy to teach. argh~ the conclusion is: i nv like females (hairstylist i mean, and sexually too.. wahaha)

yea.. so it's like i've been living with a trap for dust and mites and what-nots on my head for 3 god damn bloody days.. it's looks better now at least.. for the fact that i'm getting used to my own fugliness.. hiak hiak hiak..

been slacking this whole period of time though.. skipping classes.. nua-ing at work.. blah blah blah.. juz so sick of putting in effort.. and i tink too much supper is bloating the already-bloated me up.. wah hah hah.. it's BAD!

but on the whole.. oh well.. has been great as usual.. even with my period.. hehehehe

2005-11-30T22:40:00.000+08:00

i dunno why i'm blogging la.. so many things i thought abt this week and last.. so many things happened.. i can remember vaguely.. like parts of it here and there.. but i'm juz tooooo lazy to type everything out or rather think abt wad happened and sort them out here.. so yep.. juz a post to let ppl noe dat I'M NOT DEAD YET unfortunately.. hehz.. well.. things have been good so far.. dat explains my complacency i guess.. and err.. gonna go for impressario auditions.. on 16 dec.. i hope i make it though.. but with my stage fright and stuff.. i seriously doubt my own capabilities.. for the zillionth time..

p/s: nana.. hope u get the job.. and u'd better employ me as ur long-term model.. wahaha..

2005-11-26T22:17:00.000+08:00

some people, he's juz pissing me off.. 8k.. he sucks.. he juz nv fails to piss u off with every letter he speaks/types. i mean it lor. E-V-E-R-Y letter! argh.. but shan't tok abt bad stuff.. hee.. cos something very blessed has happened.. Coco has given birth finally!! hee.. all her babies are blackies.. or almost black.. haha.. here are some pics.. soo cute..

Cleaning up her darlings...

See how small they are..

Protecting her babies..

Anyways, a happy belated birthday to eunice darling.. see what ur chalet has given me.. juz right after i returned from ur bday chalet i got such a lovely present from my guinea pig.. hehz..

2005-11-14T21:56:00.000+08:00

life can never be better. i wonder why. but i feel good now. for the past week at least. maybe because i'm fine. dat my r'ship is getting better. and that the love is growing again. i hope history doesn't repeat itself. i feel sorry for the things i've done. i feel sorry i've let him down the past few months. after going one big round i realised-he is the one and only one who cares-without any ulterior motives. =)

2005-11-11T23:26:00.000+08:00

ON MC AGAIN!! WAHAHA!!
but i feel bad la.. how good can u feel when u're sick rite.. juz lucky dat i dun have to face the blockhead..

2005-11-10T15:50:00.000+08:00

i made a new fren tdy! lalala! wahaha. he looks kinda jap and he looks kinda cute. not a very outstanding guy in class but he caught my attention before so.. yea.. cos of his looks la.. juz dun look singaporean.. he was late tdy.. and he sat beside me cos i was at the back and his frens were beside me.. so i was kinda like the "third party"? hmmz.. yea.. den i lent him my notes to copy the stuff that he missed.. how nice of me rite.. i always do dat when strangers sit beside me when they're late.. juz dat some appreciate and some don't.. hee.. well i suppose he does.. and we exchanged numbers.. yep yep.. another new fren made!! happy!! yay!! -brendon- his name (jjcian)

and the other great thing is: I'M ON MC TODAY!!!

2005-11-09T23:45:00.000+08:00

actually i wanted to say something which i already tagged at rg's blog. haha. he and his gf really look freakin' compatible! the eyes.. the face.. the smile.. so xin fu.. hahaha.. like wad i told him.. things really happened for a reason.. if i wasn't sucha bitch he wouldn't have met such an angel.. see.. i did something good.. yea yea.. wahaha.. as if.. but i realised i'm still a sinner.. rg.. tink i'm fated to be this size.. no matter what i DON'T EAT.. still lidat.. wahaha.. anyway.. hope u're still enjoying ur "HOLIDAY".. heez..

rg's gone.. edna's gone.. liyao and eunice.. gone and came back.. me too.. everyone's leaving this freaking country for a getaway.. life's too stressful in singapore.. seriously.. dunno wad i'm rambling abt la.. sianz..

*sudden thoughts: i got no fate with aries guys. as in, can't even be better/good friends. or rather, i can't get along with aries guys. realised the fact after looking thru rg's profile and it struck me. within one sec, 3 examples i can think of:
1. RG (dunno abt now, but used to have a sour frenship cos of matters of the heart.)
2. JOSEPH (been frens for yrs, having ups and downs, also cos of matters of the heart.)
3. CALVIN a.k.a. 8K (i can't stand him cos i dun understand him, he doesn't too. apparently a most recent third party.)
*aries guys are interesting and challenging to understand. but i tink i'd better beware of my actions when i'm with aries. hehe. seems easy to cause friction between a wilful gemini and a mysterious aries. both are difficult to understand.

2005-10-30T15:15:00.000+08:00

RG u sabo me!!! hahaha.. i'm even more surprised to read ur blog.. and this stupid thing which includes my name.. well.. i'm still gonna do it.. juz for u!!! *muakz* wahahaha..

here goes......

rules of the game: Post 5 Weird and Random Facts abt yourself, then at the end list the names of 5 people who are next in line to do this. Do not post the names of the people who've done this before.
1) i have a lot of ear wax.. haha.. *grinz*.. i clear my ears everyday.. but it doesn't hlp much..
2) i'm too full of myself.. too obssessed with my own opinions.. i know that.. i will change it.. abit..
3) i drink like.. 4-6 cups of coffee a day!!!
4) i love all my frens. i miss people whom i've not really tokked to for a period of time. i'm not willing to lose any fren. on an extra note, rg: yk and me miss playing mahjong with u.. hahaha.. pls date us!!!
5) my temper has been bad.. cos of lack of slp.. lack of intellectual interaction.. lack of relaxation.. lack of speaking english.. zero of sex.. and.. lack of a fucking capable admin staff..

okay.. i dun think it's anything weird or great abt me.. i juz hafta do it? hmm...

I hope 5 person who sees this and will do it are edna, leo, jx, wenz and yaox (if u have a blog which i dunno of). hehe~

2005-10-30T15:07:00.000+08:00

haha.. i kinda forgot i have a blog? work has been too busy even for revision.. been tired out everyday cos i gotta 'bao' everything since my manager not arnd.. and that guy is not hlping much.. his parents are making things worse by trying to hlp.. but i can't say anything can i? sighs~

yea.. so now it's a sunday afternoon.. and i'm like damn nua.. cos of the sun.. i'm really nocturnal.. i'll turn active and alife! again tonite.. baa.. yawnz.. lazy to type..

*~`tataz~`*

2005-10-26T15:59:00.000+08:00

haiz.. didnt have time to blog at work for the past few days.. if u ask me why.. i'll tell ya.. it's because of that stupid dumbass head!!! he messes up everything when i'm not around.. he can't balance the daily settlements without me.. and he makes everyone's mood bad.. the first day i'm on leave he kenna scolded by my manager already.. but i can only say it's so fucking orrrrbbbeeeee to get scolded lor.. i noe i'm bad lar.. but he's gonna get it from me soon if he continues being so shitty.. i've been toooo nice.. farrr tooo nice to him.. watch out monkey brainz!!!

yep, definitely enjoyed my trip to malacca. a pity i can't get the photos uploaded cos i dun have 'em with me yet.. hopefully soon.. when i can settle down and look at the shots.. well.. went to see the old churches and temples there.. did alot of shopping.. and i really mean ALOT.. stuff to give my grandma and my mummy.. i wouldnt say i learnt alot.. but i looked and saw alot.. graveyards, churches, temples, mosques, hindu temples.. wahaha.. religious rite.. well.. i suppose the attractions there are such la.. dat's why it makes malacca so culturally enriching..

did i mention the hotel? it's 4-star.. paid SGD110 for 2 nites.. i would consider it cheap.. taking into account the fact that it is apartment style.. it has a mini-kitchen.. living room and an attached bedroom.. plus bathtubs and all accessories complete.. it wasn't like lavishly decorated.. but it was kinda cosy.. and it is not fully carpeted.. so it's good for me.. my sensitive nose can finally take a break!!

i enjoyed the ktv session too on sat nite.. (as i type things juz come into my mind.. so this entry is not really organised.. as u can see..) we only had to order 2 drinks.. which was like.. haha.. RM16.. best.. 2 person.. only need less than SGD8 to sing!!! but he felt bad lar.. so we ordered another set of drinks.. still.. it's fucking cheap.. wahahaha

I LOVE MALACCA!!! CHEERS!!!

2005-10-20T01:04:00.000+08:00

well well well.. finally the long awaited break i've been craving.. i'm going to malacca!!! phew.. sucha relief.. hope u guys wun miss me too much.. anyway.. it's juz me.. nothing much to be missed abt.. but i'm gonna miss out on the fun at thumper on fri nite.. well.. not as if i'm gonna go if i wasn't going to malaysia.. but juz trying to add on to my opportunity cost of going malacca so i force myself to put down everything and totally enjoy myself.. u noe me.. i can't stop thinking abt work and schoolwork.. hahaha.. but i need to bring some stuff there to revise cos i got a test on mon when i return.. sighs~

and yepz! gonna go there for a heritage tour.. like what i told jon.. which to him felt like an excuse.. haha.. whatever.. i wanna visit all the churches there.. and graves of those important ppl.. i wanna go to those islands off malacca.. i want to do so many things in 2.5 days.. and i need to shop!!! WAW!!! but i tink the main reason i'm going there is to escape from everything.. far far away from this fast-paced city.. relax.. and gain more knowledge abt history.. =)

2005-10-15T13:03:00.000+08:00

i dunno wad to blog? too many things happened the past 2 days.. and i feel like shitting now.. okayyy.. no link.. went to thumper on thurs nite.. the crowd's there not bad.. very mature.. haha.. but managed to get in cos we had eunice's fren's fren.. did i get it rite? anyway.. he's called jonathan.. or jon rather.. and he seems nice.. i would say "seems nice".. cos i dun really noe yet.. he treated us to drinks.. and sent yao, wenz and edna back.. not me though.. cos i had to leave early.. yea.. but i wouldnt really say he's very very nice or anything.. still have some kinda doubts abt ppl i meet during clubbing..

well.. happily.. i puked.. as usual.. but twice this time.. once in the washroom of goodwood park hotel and another time in my own toilet.. felt real bad.. didnt really eat the next day.. sighs.. i didnt really dance also.. cos was real tired from work..

happily.. now gotta do accounts liao.. cos my colleague left.. and i juz got confirmed.. which means that for this month i got a $100 pay increment.. but i gotta do the work of another $1.6K staff.. hmms.. dat's like.. WAH!!!

ya la.. lazy to write already.. and lazy to think abt what happened and all that.. shall update again soon.. ;P